There is a ________, a _________, and a skunk in a ________. The skunk has a __________ hanging off his _______. The _________ notices and says, “How did _________ ___________ by __________ __________?”
What is the __________ ___________?
Some people drink too much of it, then they spin around in their seat and say how do you do.
Every other Thursday, a group of old widows meet. They sit in a circle and pass around a small receptacle shaped like a cow. The cream pours out of its mouth into thin, porcelain cups. The hostess uses one with a stalagmite where a handle used to be. She says My Bill did not eat eggplant.
A man who harvests the beans in Peru died last week from melanoma. When the purple sun was setting over the field, he fainted and said No tengo nada.
Parrots have a poor ability to metabolize caffeine. Also horses.
My Uncle prefers diet cola.
There is a small wooden house
near a festival of raccoons
in the forest near a bank
that holds all my money
for a debt I owe a fellow
who also knows the secret
which I will tell you now
none of this is true.
That’s the last of my poem-a-day-poems for April. I hope you find them as funny as I do. Admittedly, some are half assed, some are good, and one is a song. Read them here.
P.S. I am in the middle of recording a Mercy Choir album, therefore this has been the most creatively productive month of my entire life. Thanks.
With a long sigh and a rounded skull
he met the cantor with a frown.
His drug was shaped like apple skin
his diet made of fire.
“Grow strong without vendetta,”
he said to his unborn son.
“Race, but don’t hurry. Frown,
but don’t sneer.”
“But dad,” he replied, “What’s
the use and where’s the satisfaction?”
“The use is suede skin
and the satisfaction is two stomachs.”